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Humor Archives - | The Allegiant
Category archives for: Humor

The Quest for Bigger Breasts

Bigger breast

Back when I was in college expanding my mind, some of my girl friends were expanding their breasts. I admit that I was tempted to join them. There was nothing really wrong the the breasts that I had at the time. They were average I’d say, not too big, not too small. For my size, […]

Seedless Grapes – The Ruin of Our Society!

Evil Seedless grapes

While sitting back and enjoying my post-meal fruit of choice, my Italian mother-in-law informs me that these seedless grapes are the ruin of humanity, the planet, and possibly the universe. Wow! I looked at the tasty, plump fruit. It looks so deliciously, harmless as I move it through space on its way to my mouth. […]

DieAgra – Imagine a World With NO Sex

dieagra

Yes, that’s right. NO more sex drive. Just try to imagine a world without that annoying sex drive making you do stupid things. No more fighting yourself to keep your mind off sex. No more distractions from short skirts and feminine cleavage or muscular chests glistening with sweat. No more single’s bars, all night romps, […]

New Policy – No Claiming Your College Degree Until Loans Are Paid

student loans

Unpaid Student Loans Put College Degrees in “Layaway” Status. Today the college debt “bubble” finally burst leaving millions of college graduates in limbo. Sallie Mae, Wells Fargo, Citibank, Nelnet, Citizens Bank, and even JP Morgan Chase have all announced that they are essentially “foreclosing on student loans”. So what does this mean? If you have […]

Conservative is Republican or Democrat?

Conservative is republican or democrat

I get this question, phrased exactly as above, at least twice a day. Conservative is Republican or Democrat? Traditionally a Conservative is a Republican. Conservatives are attempting to “Conserve” values. Usually these values are based on Christian principles. Values may include but are not limited to: marriage being between a man and a woman only, right to […]

The Papal Wait and See- What you didn’t (want to) know

Papal wait and see

The world is abuzz. The Pope has stepped down, the first to do so in over 600 years. But with recent announcements about how he is to spend his retirement years, the race to become the next pope has heated up. And the popular opinion is that the next pope will retire too, rather than […]

Five Ways to Boost the Economy- Yes, Even You Can Do It!

Ways to boost the economy

We all know what a mess the economy is in. And in light of depressing statistics which show that every car, TV, or Hello Kitty trinket you buy just pumps up some foreign economy (you’re welcome, China!) while depressing our own even further, the top brains in economics have gotten together and formulated a sure-fire […]

Saint Patrick’s Day 2012- An opportunity

Saint Patricks day 2013

A transcript from a recent meeting at HolidayStuffCorp. Harry MacGibbon, VP in charge of St Patrick’s Day, is called into the President’s office. The following conversation ensues: President: Harry. Come in. Sit down. Have some cinnamon hearts. Harry: Oh, no, I don’t really…. President: (threateningly) Have some cinnamon hearts. Harry: Yes. Thank you. (the sound […]

Recent Polls Suggest Calling Someone a Republican is an Insult.

Republican insult

Breaking News: Recent polls suggest the majority of Americans consider being called “Republican” insulting. The independent political polling company NSON Opinion Strategy [1] recently published the results of a case study in which 250,000 randomly selected American voters were asked a series of questions. The details of how and where the study was conducted have yet to […]

Worst Tattoos Ever

worst tattoos

The Worlds Worst Tattoos Ever I am a fan of tattoos as much as the next guy an in my life I’ve seen my share of bad one but I wanted to gather the worst tattoos from around the world for your viewing pleasure. It just ends up being an unfortunate fact that they are all from […]

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republican or democrat quiz

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